So now I'm scared of tea?

I've been doing excellent recently! And I'm so proud of myself! So right now I'm sitting in my room, it's 11:39 PM and I just had some chamomile tea and I'm like craving some chai tea, but I'm a little scared to drink it because It's 120 calories for 2 tablespoon! Seriously, it's tea, why does it need to be so much calories!? But I'm already full from the chamomile tea so I would only have 1 tablespoon which would be 60 cal.. I'm not sure if I should though. All I've had today is a smoothie. That's like all I eat when I'm restricting. I make them really healthy though. No added crap. So this morning I got on the scale and 100lbs! I'm so happy! It might sound skinny, but it does NOT look like it. I still have huge fat, chubby legs and ass. It's disgusting. It's because I'm 5'1" :( Anyone who is tall doesn't even know how good they have it. I guess I would be okay with being short if I was like 80lbs. That's my ultimate goal! I don't really want to look like a child though, haha. That's why I wish I was taller. :/ Well I think I'm going to have that tea. It's only 60 cal right? I wouldn't binge at this time of day. Gross. I would bloat up so badly.

Oh by the way I went to the bookstore tonight and I got this book called Skinny. It's about anorexia, obviously. I wanted to get Wasted too, but I think my mom was starting to get suspicious with all of the eating disorder books. She knows that all I've been eating since last Tuesday is smoothies and tea. She is also starting to worry because I'm always complaining about being lightheaded and dizzy. But I am on medicine for my heart. It beats waaaay too much and I can never breathe and I always have chest pains, but these meds are supposed to slow down my heart and make me calm. So now that I'm not eating alot, I'm always tired, lightheaded, and dizzy. Oh well, it's so worth it.

Guess it's time for the fat tea now? Haha, jk (hopefully)
Hoping to be 95 by next Wednesday!
-Kinsey<3