Failure

So obviously I've given up on blogging, or maybe I'm just lazy, I don't know. I just feel like venting. Even though most people probably won't read it. Oh well. So these past couple days have been quite well, with my eating of course. Since like last Thursday I've eaten pretty much all carbs but it was all 500 calories which is my goal for now. I try not to go past that, but tonight I probably did. I ate some rice and I told myself I was going to be done then I had a big urge for candy (I'm on my period :/ which most of us know that breaks our good streak) so I had some little dum dum suckers and then I wanted chips and some more candy.. other than that I did alright. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week, so more chances to do better. I'm feeling like accomplishment coming on though. I'm getting pretty fed up with my fat body. I guess I'm scared to get too into this eating problem to where it messes up my body. I already got put on this medicine that slows down my heart and helps me breathe and when I take it and not eat it makes me so dizzy, tired, and I can't really think good. I always doze off now and it pisses me off, but it helps me stop thinking about food (that sounds so fat haha) I weighed myself last Monday and I was 106 with no clothes on and yesterday I weighed myself and I was 103! I probably gained a pound or more now that it's the time of the month! Ugh I hate that! I'm doing good tomorrow! I'm determined. Just because I'm short doesn't mean I can't be super thin! There is this girl from France and she is 5 foot and I think under 80 pounds. She went ana at like 11 and she is sooo small. She is famous for being anorexic because she took picture for this bil-board of hers supporting something about being skinny. I don't really know. I think when girls get skinnier they look taller. Maybe that's just me. Oh, by the way I got a calendar and I'm marking the days with however my eating was that day. If I binged, fasted, or restricted. I got that idea from Riki Ana. It's a good way to see how good or bad you've done. So far, mines not that good haha. Rant, rant, rant, lol. I guess I'm going to get off. Maybe I'll post again soon?

For whoever reads this, stay strong! We all can do it!

-Kinsey